


That Time Harry Defeated Voldemort And Everyone Was Happy Except Snape

by branwyn, LizBee



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-10
Updated: 2007-09-10
Packaged: 2017-10-03 15:37:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/branwyn/pseuds/branwyn, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizBee/pseuds/LizBee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a bit self-explanatory, really...</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Time Harry Defeated Voldemort And Everyone Was Happy Except Snape

Despite the fact that Harry had only just turned sixteen, the overwhelming psychic power of his angst love for his friends had fried the Dark Lord from a conveniently safe distance while Harry was having dinner that night. It was just after pudding, but the cheese course hadn't arrived yet.

"Oh!" Harry said, dropping his spoon. "I just destroyed Voldemort."

"Wonderful," said Dumbledore, pausing by the Gryffindor table to distribute sweets. "Extra cake for everyone!"

Snape, however, was not pleased. "500 points from Gryffindor," he growled. "For making the last fifteen years of my life superfluous to the story."

"D-does this mean I can stay on next year?" the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher asked. "Because I really think I'm making a break-through with my third years..."

Just then, Harry accidentally stabbed him/her through the neck with his salad fork. "Oops," he said. "Sorry, Headmaster. Can killing Voldemort count as my Defense NEWT, then?"

Dumbledore twirled on his chair. "Of course!" he said, eyes twinkling madly, "here, have a lollipop."

Snape and McGonagall exchanged a look.

"Time for another intervention, I think," McGonagall said. "Really, Albus, are you high _all the time?_"

"Why do you think I never got the Defense job?" Snape snarled. "Someone had to make his wizarding equivalent of Ativan, or no one would be running this school. Honestly, one stupid tattoo and next thing I know I'm running one old man's personal pharmacy for the next twenty years."

"Albus has all the best drugs," said Trelawney, swaying gently.

THE END


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